Mariana Peks Holistic Therapist

Realizing my own shit is not easy, at times there is the ego that only wants to "protect me" that ego that tells me: "I already have worked that this doesn't belong to me anymore," that ego that says: "You are fine it is the other one"... This ego that tells me: "You already went there it is not yours" I notice there's some disgusting feelings in it and even though it's there I lie to myself saying "All fine." And my ego, trying to protect me, has again a defense / justification: "It makes you angry because it's no longer yours and you don't deserve it anymore, it makes you angry because you lived it like that when you were a child and it hurts". Or she says that "Nothing happened". But YES, something happened. But again my mind plays the roll of doing the work with the head instead of connecting with what I'm feeling... this distracts me from doing the real work, going deeper and asking myself. Is this real? OR In what areas of my life am I being like this and I don't want to accept it? Where is this part in me that doesn’t want to embrace myself?... And then.. I realised that there's shame stoping me, there's a disgusting feeling that repels me so much... Ohhh, I realized, is the same thing that I am doing in another circumstance, or it's the same I did in this situation... That I have a strong judgement and pride and act like I don’t have this but... it’s there! ... I catch myself feeling that I'm better than the others or that I'm less. Arrogance. Realizing that when I see others not be able to truly share their fears but have an image of "I am spiritual". I also have this!This cycle of feeling and judging is something that happens to me and it is this part of me that instead of hugging, I want to kick. And the voice of unity tells me: But ... I don't need to share everything all the time to make it "right" or to be "correct". I am both, I remind myself, I am shared and I am selfish and it's okay! I breathe, I feel disgusting; the ego breaks into little pieces to recognize itself there. It is difficult to lower that protective ego, I lower it, I breathe again and I feel love. I realize that I can forgive myself, I realize that now I feel love and compassion for others, but of course it is because now I do feel that way towards me. I feel that way because I did the job... I joined, I didn’t stay in the separation, nor in evasion. I did it... I feel my soul resting. Thanks for doing the job, the world appreciates it!

Deep in our belly workshop! 3 intense day journey, in this beautiful New Zeland Island, Wahijeke.. Thanks to Wahijeke Mystery School to this collaboration! Thanks for the space and help! Valeska Kbk and Amandeep from Waiheke Mystery School I feel really expanded and great full to be able to share this with all of you! I feel blessed and heart open, confirming one more time the powerful can be working, when you let the spirit guide you. When you are just a channel to spread transformation.

https://www.clipzui.com/video/e3r2z4n4q3k5t4x3b4q4w4.html

Thanks for you beautiful words I feel really grateful and Full heart!